In this episode of “The Glass House,” Noe and Clancey Garcia join Ben and Lynley to talk about marriage and ministry through the lens of trauma. Listen to their story as they dispel the myth that simply being a believer can overcome challenges of a broken background. They also talk about:
- How marriage is a fantasy that we feed until we actually get married—and it can never measure up.
- Trauma and anger influence the way we relate to each other in marriage and the way we do ministry.
- The life of a pastor’s family often revolves around him and his spiritual and emotional health, while the pastor’s wife goes without care.
- It’s hard to find rest, when living life in the public eye. A pastor always feels like he needs to be “on,” and it can be exhausting.
- How pain can cause people to steer clear of getting close to others.
Noe is the pastor of North Phoenix Baptist church and is the author of RePurposed: How God Turns Your Mess Into His Message. He and Clancey have four children.
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Quotes from this episode:
“Pastors and people in ministry fear that all of their trauma in marriage is going to come out in the church—and it would be devastating to their families, careers and entire lives.”
“Over the years, we create the fantasy of what marriage will look like, feed it, and it becomes this novel you’ve written over time. Then you actually live it, and your fantasy can’t coexist with the reality—and there’s an explosion that happens.”
“I can sense he’s building walls of protection—often from church life. And I feel a bit of tension in our marriage … really like he’s pulling back.”
“She’s been the one putting me together, and she has her own deep wounds. Who’s helping the pastor’s wife? The pastor serves everyone else, and she’s the one helping him.”
“The moment the vulnerability came, it’s been unbelievable how the Lord has used that. The transparency is lacking in a lot of places.”
Check out Noe’s book, RePurposed.
Produced and Edited by: Angie Elkins Media
Original Music by: Robert Elkins
Sound Engineering by: Dale Sandberg
Art Work by: Cameron Spooner