When ministry leaders are busy addressing other people’s hurts, they tend to minimize or neglect their own emotional health altogether. And that’s dangerous. Listen as Kyle and Christine Hoover of Charlottesville Community Church walk through their journey of rediscovering the gladness, emotional intimacy, and love for Christ and His church that can get lost in the ministry shuffle.
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Quotes from this episode:
“When you have an emotion heavy on your heart—like shame, fear, or hurt. it’s a calling card of the Holy Spirit. God is calling you closer to Him by processing that emotion. As you process it, what naturally erupts from that volcano is a sense of joy and gladness that comes from knowing God more authentically.”
“Leaders often don’t know how to deal with their emotions. And we don’t usually have time. We’re handling the hard stuff for other people. It’s not only hard to stop to think about what we’re feeling, but also to know where to turn when we’re the ones in crisis.”
“Leaders often suffer from the “Once-We-Get-Past-This” syndrome—this meeting, this event, or this problem. We think once we get that “thing” behind us, we’ll deal with the hard stuff in our own lives. … Gladness often comes by giving attention to the pain in your life.”
“I felt like I was a victim of my circumstances and I had no way of affecting things—especially related to ministry. I went back to this: Am I voicing what I need to my husband or my friends and the people around me. I wasn’t. A lot of that was related to emotion. I didn’t want to share things I thought were negative. … I just wanted to move past that and keep going.”
“It’s easy to go to the “right” answer and sermonize a response to someone who suffers. But that short circuits the connection and the opportunity to explore that component of who people are.”
“For pastors especially, there’s a fear of vulnerability. Pastors can also be really good at asking questions that keep them anonymous. We focus on the other person to avoid difficult topics for ourselves. … I can have a two-hour conversation and they don’t know a thing about me”.
“In the midst of COVID and ministry, I had lost track, functionally, of Jesus and my love for Him. At some point I became the “complaint desk manager for God.” That’s not the position God put me in. I lost joy for my Savior and my functional role as a pastor.”
“The hardest part of ministry for me is seeming invisible. I perceive they don’t see me as an individual apart from my husband. … That can be hard. At times, I’ve even felt invisible to my own husband. Sometimes our marriage was sacrificed for ministry.”
“Sometimes, as the face of an institution, the pastor can seem less human. People can say really hurtful things about the church. They don’t connect that it’s hard for you, personally, to hear it.”
Visit Christine’s website.
Check out Christine’s podcast, “By Faith,” where Kyle is joining her this season for conversations about vocational ministry.
Browse Christine’s books.
Get Christine’s Bible study.
Follow Christine on Instagram (here is the post that got this conversation started).
Follow Christine on Twitter.
Executive Producer: Joy Allmond
Produced and Edited by: Angie Elkins Media
Original Music by: Robert Elkins
Art Work by: Cameron Spooner